My three sisters and I used to joke that we were the
embodiment of Little Women, with our gentle Marmy, our shared
faith, sewing projects, late-night cooking fests and the farm. Childhood was a
simple time of laughter and chores. But, alas, life is difficult without a
script. I left for college before my youngest sister started kindergarten. Mom
passed in late 2017 at the glorious age of 92. By then we had scattered to the
wind, each of us residing in a different state. For some, our shared Catholic
faith fractured under the weight of divorce and disappointment. Time and
distance created breaks in our relationships.
On Good Friday, my sisters and I began a nine-day novena asking mercy for those who cannot ask it for themselves. Each afternoon at 3:00 we pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy on our rosary beads, on a conference call. It hasn't been perfect. Our pace and pauses are as free-wheeling as we are. Cell phones promote voice lag that makes it seem like one or the other of us is deliberately lagging. But shared spiritual purpose is a balm to the soul. When the last prayer ends, we chat.
The first two days involved cautious circling and respectful
pauses as we struggled to avoid old triggers and forge new ways of being
sisters. Easier in one-on-one conversation, not so easy in a conference call
where miscues overpower and silence speaks.
But with each attempt we come closer to finding our rhythm.
We offer mea culpas for the ways we injured each other in the past. We
take belly breaths and our blood pressures ease. Our voices sound younger and
less constrained. Laughter emerges from the cautious consensus-building
that consumed our first conversations.
There is something poignant about the nature of limits. Our
memories recall what it meant to be “The Thompson Girls” in days past. We don’t
speak of husbands or careers—who needs that? Sisters are the ultimate bullshit
meter. There’s no wiggle room. They were there! And trust me, silence can speak
volumes. Our honesty takes us back to a time before regret robbed us of our
courage.
Sharing gives us something to contemplate while we wait out
another day of confinement. With the end looming, we’ve decided to continue our
conference calls once a month. We can no longer imagine our lives without the
four of us together in one place.
