"I write so that my handful of pebbles, cast into still waters, will create a ripple."

Sunday, November 5, 2017

The Writing Game



The Writing Game—A Board Game for All Ages

The game you must be crazy to play
                           
RULES
Select a genre game piece. 
YA, Fantasy, Romance and Mystery writers must share the board with poets.
The game continues until all players are broke or decide to quit.
The game is played in no particular order. Players who skip a step are disqualified.
 Roll dice and move the corresponding number of spaces.
No limit to the number of times you can go around the board. Go until you’re exhausted.
No whining. 

ROLL THE DICE

Buy writing books, courses, supplies. (Pay $500 to the bank.)
Buy books in your genre. (Pay $200 to the bank. Give up 8 hours for each book.)
Join a critique group. (Advance 1 space for each chapter you share.)
Gain 5 pounds from sitting at the computer. (Trade places with slowest player.)
Play Solitaire for mental stimulation. (Lose 1 turn for each hour you play.)
Spill wine on keyboard. (Pay bank $50.)
Buy business cards and letterhead. (Pay bank $35.)
Hire web assistant to create Website and Blog. She flakes. (Pay GoDaddy $400.)
Create Twitter, Author Facebook Account. (Trade places with fastest player.)
Create a headshot. (Pay bank $150 if not taken with your smartphone.)
Create Chimpmail newsletter from your entire email list. (Too busy to play. Skip turn.)
Submit to a publication. (Pay bank $59 for Writer’s Market.)
Collect first rejection notice. (All players must halt game for a wine break.)
Chimpmail suspends your account for too many complaints. (Return to Start.)
Join one or more writing organizations. (Pay bank $65 for each membership.)
Computer konks out. Replenish supplies. (Pay bank $100 for toner and paper.)
Enter writing contest(s). (Pay bank $50 for each.)
Non-writer friends replace you with someone more normal. (Lose a turn.)
Attend your organization’s Annual Conference. (Pay bank $1,000 for associated costs.)
Have breakfast with hung-over guy at conference who turns out to be an agent or publisher. (Spend $40 on Mimosas.)
Collect business cards from folks you meet at the conference. (Take extra turn.)
Win honorable mention in conference writing contest. (Pay bank $40 for stickers.)
Relatives offer unskilled critique of your manuscript at holiday party. (Lose 2 turns.)
Serve on the Board of your writing organization. (Take a Pat-on-the-Back Card.)
Shoe box overflows with rejection notices. (Collect $10 from each player for wine.)
Paste tearsheets and contest credits in a scrapbook to be found when you are dead. (Move ahead as many spaces as you want. You deserve it.)
Substantive editor suggests a complete rewrite. (Pay the bank $400-$700.)
Teach writing workshop to 3 people at your Rec Department. (Collect $150 from bank.)
Judge middle school writing competition. Give a speech. (Priceless.)
Sign with an agent (Pay bank $160 for dinner/bar tab to celebrate.)
Agent queries six publishing houses, gets six rejections. ($80 bar tab to drown your sorrows. Drunk, you decide to go it alone.)
Sign book contract with the publisher you met at breakfast during your conference. (Collect a 4-figure advance.)
Dedicate your book to all the people who helped you. (Draw a “Get out of Jail” card.)
Spend your advance on a marketing campaign for your book. (Move ahead ten spaces.)
IRS considers your writing a hobby. (Lose a turn.)
Realize how writing has changed your life. (Collect $1,000. Use Get Out Of Jail Card.)
Help a novice writer over the finish line. (In this game, everyone wins.)